How to be a Transman in 5 Simple Steps
By A.J Koury
Being a transman is easy and now you can be one, too!
Follow these simple rules to doing trans the right way.
1) Decide to embrace your masculine side. This means you’ll want to wear baggy clothes or a binder to cover your feminine curves. If you really want to commit, wear a tight fitting sports bra and a binder and a white tee-shirt. If you’re lucky, you can get away with only wearing these three layers. If you’re a bigger chested female bodied person, you’ll probably also want to wear another two layers on top. Oh, and yeah, you’ll probably be hot and uncomfortable but at least you’ll minimize a fraction of the funny looks you get as you go through your everyday life.
2) Decide that you never want to use public restrooms again. Really, you never realize how freeing it is to hold your pee until you realize that the feeling of being physically uncomfortable beats the feeling of being emotionally uncomfortable and a tiny bit afraid of incurring bodily harm for being in the wrong restroom. Go forth, young man, and do NOT urinate in public.
3) Accept that from now on people are going to question your ability to read. Don’t you worry, I know that you can read. You may even be getting your doctorate—no matter, you will certainly be questioned about whether you know you are in the men’s section of department stores, that you are eating the men’s vitamins at the GNC, or that, silly you, this is the MEN’S fitting room! Reading is hard—no doubt—and looking like you don’t belong means you’ll have to get reading tips from all sorts of folks who can read gooder than you.
4) Be cool with losing people that you love or that you thought loved you. This is a really important one, friend. People you have spent holidays with, people who birthed you, people you thought would never abandon you just might surprise you when you say that you were a male all along. You might get lucky—some people will be darlings about your transition. Some people will smile and say, “Cool, bro.” Others will decide you’re weird, shun you because you have embarrassed them, or decide you’re transitioning to be different or get attention. This is totally fair, obviously, brother, because being different is what we’re all striving to do. And because changing gender is so easy to do, it’s a totally awesome way to get attention!
5) Understand that top surgery costs as much as a car. My car is the same price as my top surgery—literally the same price. But remember, because you’re getting elective surgery that’s cosmetic in nature you really should foot the bill. I mean, it’s not like you can’t just bind your breasts and wear baggy clothes because obviously you can. Insurance is meant for people who REALLY have medical conditions—wait, I know what you’re going to say, THIS FEELS MEDICAL AND I GO TO A DOCTOR AND HAVE A DIAGNOSIS BECAUSE THEY TOLD ME I HAVE TO HAVE A DIAGNOSIS TO GET HORMONES SO ISN’T THIS MEDICAL? I know, bro, I know. But suck it up, sailor, because getting a double mastectomy is like no biggie (if you can save up for it, get to the appointment, and have someone take care of you after…)
(Trans)man On Campus consists of weekly musings from a trans dude on campus.