NFL Power Rankings Week 11 (Describe a Team in One Sentence Edition)
By James Watkins
You probably have family to visit and turkey to eat on this fine Thanksgiving Day, so let’s keep things short and sweet. You’ll be done before Uncle Frank can eat all the cranberry sauce. We’re looking out for you here at WPTS.
- Philadelphia Eagles (last week’s ranking: 1): Wentz for Mayor!
- New England Patriots (2): They’re incredible, again.
- Pittsburgh Steelers (4): They’re firing on all cylinders, and you should be afraid of that.
- Minnesota Vikings (6): Best roster in the NFL.
- New Orleans Saints (5): It smells like 2009 in here.
- Los Angeles Rams (3): Give Gurley more than 20 touches every single game.
- Jacksonville Jaguars (10): Look, it’s the divison leader most likely to flame out in the playoffs.
- Carolina Panthers (8): *Bye*
- Atlanta Falcons (13): They now have the same record as they did at this point last season.
- Detroit Lions (12): They’ve now proven it’s not impossible for them to score in the red zone.
- Seattle Seahawks (7): Russell Wilson still has to create most of this team’s offense out of thin air and evasive maneuvers.
- Tennessee Titans (11): Yes, Marcus Mariota’s interceptions looked worse with the Skycam.
- Kansas City Chiefs (9): Remember when Alex Smith was going to win the MVP?
- Los Angeles Chargers (20): Most underrated team in the NFL.
- Baltimore Ravens (23): Mediocre might just be good enough.
- Cincinnati Bengals (24): Apparently they’re still relevant, and that should tell you how much of a dumpster fire the AFC is this year.
- Dallas Cowboys (14): When did you say Zeke was coming back again?
- The Burgundy Boys (15): If only Kirk Cousins could play defense.
- Chicago Bears (19): Mitch Trubisky needs some weapons for Christmas.
- Green Bay Packers (18): Finally, the season looks as ugly as those throwback uniforms.
- Houston Texans (21): Like a broken clock, even Tom Savage has to have a good game now and again.
- New York Jets (22): *Bye*
- Oakland Raiders (16): For now, they’re just another timber in the logjam of mediocre teams vying for the final AFC wild card berth.
- Buffalo Bills (17): 6/14, 66 yards, 0 TDs, 5 INTs.
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (28): At least they aren’t the worst team in Florida anymore!
- Indianapolis Colts (26): *Bye*
- Miami Dolphins (25): I’m not surprised.
- Arizona Cardinals (27): Larry Fitzgerald continues to be the only relevant attraction in the desert, passing Tony Gonzales for 5th on the all-time receiving list this past weekend.
- San Francisco 49ers (29): *Bye*
- New York Giants (31): Where the hell has this Giants team been???
- Denver Broncos (30): Wade Phillips is the reason Peyton Manning has more than one ring.
- Cleveland Browns (32): They’re really going to lose every game, aren’t they?
